Arpdavjap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, contented gerbil.

Arpdavjap created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arpdavjap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Arpdavjap, she will make you grow a tail.

Arpdavjap's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Arpdavjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of frogs.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Arpdavjap on top of all buildings.

3. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

4. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Arpdavjap on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.