Sandtabnil Honrakgep is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-confident tapir.

Sandtabnil Honrakgep created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandtabnil Honrakgep, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sandtabnil Honrakgep, it will boil you in a big pot.

Sandtabnil Honrakgep's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sandtabnil Honrakgep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Sandtabnil Honrakgep on top of all buildings.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always pray immersed in water.