Fitzenpom Wegjarnrutt Gedlakjin is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unselfish armadillo.

Fitzenpom Wegjarnrutt Gedlakjin created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitzenpom Wegjarnrutt Gedlakjin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fitzenpom Wegjarnrutt Gedlakjin, he will turn you into a sheep.

Fitzenpom Wegjarnrutt Gedlakjin's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fitzenpom Wegjarnrutt Gedlakjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt geese.

2. Never think about chlorophyll.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Fitzenpom Wegjarnrutt Gedlakjin loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Never chant in holy places.