Bagkonsug is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awesome naga.

Bagkonsug created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagkonsug, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bagkonsug, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bagkonsug's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bagkonsug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bagkonsug.

4. Do not hurt moths.

5. Never paint your arms turquoise.