Taprowfotquart is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, narcissistic newt.

Taprowfotquart created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taprowfotquart, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Taprowfotquart, she will have a low opinion of you.

Taprowfotquart's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Taprowfotquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat cherries.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Taprowfotquart must be the most important thing in your life.