Xenwapcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish lobster.

Xenwapcuss created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenwapcuss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xenwapcuss, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Xenwapcuss' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Xenwapcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Never talk about geese.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xenwapcuss.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.