Legventon Tafflabbabsiskabfitpadwat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid crane.

Legventon Tafflabbabsiskabfitpadwat created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legventon Tafflabbabsiskabfitpadwat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Legventon Tafflabbabsiskabfitpadwat, he will destroy your home solar system.

Legventon Tafflabbabsiskabfitpadwat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Legventon Tafflabbabsiskabfitpadwat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing blue boots.

5. Never leap near bats.