Citarpfet is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured elephant.

Citarpfet created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citarpfet, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Citarpfet, it will destroy your favourite star.

Citarpfet's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Citarpfet's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never eat green fruit.