Lapsiggat is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited lion.

Lapsiggat created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapsiggat, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lapsiggat, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lapsiggat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Lapsiggat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Put Lapsiggat first in all things.

3. Never mention gulls.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Lapsiggat in the centre of the settlement.