Vinbonkvolfud is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful deer.

Vinbonkvolfud created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinbonkvolfud, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vinbonkvolfud, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vinbonkvolfud's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Vinbonkvolfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near mice.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Put Vinbonkvolfud first in all things.

5. Never wear gray shirts.