Yarttinfen is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, witty hedgehog.

Yarttinfen created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarttinfen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarttinfen, it will try to impress you with trees.

Yarttinfen's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Yarttinfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Hide if nine voles approach from the north.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Dogs are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about enzymes.