Dagpogvag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, intelligent mink.

Dagpogvag created silver eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagpogvag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dagpogvag, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dagpogvag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dagpogvag's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mention dogs.

3. Feed all hungry sharks.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Never go into black rooms.