Arpjabhen is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sage parrot.

Arpjabhen created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpjabhen, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpjabhen, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Arpjabhen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Arpjabhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near gulls while wearing violet dresses and balancing five zinc spheres on your legs.

2. Run away if six mice approach from the west.

3. Hide if seven sharks approach from the east.

4. Do not hurt shrews.

5. Always help sick monkeys.