Dubnillmad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, stupid mongoose.

Dubnillmad created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubnillmad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dubnillmad, she will ignore you.

Dubnillmad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Dubnillmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Dubnillmad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Put Dubnillmad first in all things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.