Fitmonzogzod is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless faun.

Fitmonzogzod created the Sombrero Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitmonzogzod, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fitmonzogzod, it will turn you into a rock.

Fitmonzogzod's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fitmonzogzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing magenta shirts and balancing nine copper spheres on your legs.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.