Basscadjen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective badger.

Basscadjen created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Basscadjen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Basscadjen, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Basscadjen's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Basscadjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away if four goats approach from the north.

5. Do not commit murder.