Gepbigwigomt is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, calm slug.

Gepbigwigomt created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepbigwigomt, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gepbigwigomt, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gepbigwigomt's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Gepbigwigomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Gepbigwigomt must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Do not take Gepbigwigomt's name in vain.