Artsawhud is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive walrus.

Artsawhud created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artsawhud, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Artsawhud, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Artsawhud's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Artsawhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near birds while wearing gray shoes and balancing five platinum spheres on your back.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always wear white.