Pagsissan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, intelligent crocodile.

Pagsissan created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Pagsissan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pagsissan, she will turn you into a frog.

Pagsissan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Pagsissan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick shrews.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Pagsissan loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. You must love Pagsissan.

5. Never feed limes to dolphins while wearing coats.