Hitnurtvegtonklidcib is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, competent dog.

Hitnurtvegtonklidcib created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitnurtvegtonklidcib, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hitnurtvegtonklidcib, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hitnurtvegtonklidcib's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hitnurtvegtonklidcib's Holy Commandments

1. Hitnurtvegtonklidcib must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Never feed lots of limes to capybaras while wearing gray trousers.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Erect five iron sculptures of Hitnurtvegtonklidcib on top of important buildings.