Jipbagflab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless seal.

Jipbagflab created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipbagflab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jipbagflab, it will be mildly annoyed.

Jipbagflab's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Jipbagflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Jipbagflab on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not chop down trees.