Hablimflan Banjipnell is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless walrus.

Hablimflan Banjipnell created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hablimflan Banjipnell, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hablimflan Banjipnell, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hablimflan Banjipnell's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hablimflan Banjipnell's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect a giant white sculpture of Hablimflan Banjipnell in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. You must love Hablimflan Banjipnell.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.