Tagbepfub is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud elephant.

Tagbepfub created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagbepfub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tagbepfub, he will turn you into a mole.

Tagbepfub's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tagbepfub's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silicon sculptures of Tagbepfub on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

4. Tagbepfub must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always stare at clouds.