Farzedbumnarveentail is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful walrus.

Farzedbumnarveentail created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Farzedbumnarveentail, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Farzedbumnarveentail, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Farzedbumnarveentail's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Farzedbumnarveentail's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Retreat if seven aardvarks approach from the north.

4. Do not take Farzedbumnarveentail's name in vain.

5. Do not make images of living things.