Bassbedhitjarnbadtafhivaf is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, irritating scorpion.

Bassbedhitjarnbadtafhivaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassbedhitjarnbadtafhivaf, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bassbedhitjarnbadtafhivaf, it will laugh at you.

Bassbedhitjarnbadtafhivaf's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bassbedhitjarnbadtafhivaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bassbedhitjarnbadtafhivaf on top of all buildings.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Never eat carrots.