Jipxuckfonmin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy toad.

Jipxuckfonmin created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Jipxuckfonmin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jipxuckfonmin, she will turn you into a dog.

Jipxuckfonmin's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Jipxuckfonmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray shorts.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Always obey Jipxuckfonmin's priests.