Cimcidwik is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, thoughtless squid.

Cimcidwik created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimcidwik, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cimcidwik, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cimcidwik's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cimcidwik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange whales, for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cimcidwik.

5. Always help eagles in need.