Cimxucktal is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awesome goat.

Cimxucktal created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimxucktal, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cimxucktal, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cimxucktal's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cimxucktal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cimxucktal's name in vain.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

3. Retreat if six geese approach from the north.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never feed peanuts to snails while wearing skirts.