Tofsascunteencim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy rhinoceros.

Tofsascunteencim created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofsascunteencim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tofsascunteencim, he will turn you into a mole.

Tofsascunteencim's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Tofsascunteencim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.