Nelbastfob is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful whale.

Nelbastfob created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelbastfob, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nelbastfob, he will remove you from existence.

Nelbastfob's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nelbastfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Hide from purple aardvarks for they are unholy.

4. Never paint your head yellow.

5. Never sing near otters.