Jenmitgep is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud tortoise.

Jenmitgep created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenmitgep, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jenmitgep, it will jump up and down on your head.

Jenmitgep's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jenmitgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured manatees.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jenmitgep.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Never go into purple rooms.