Labdimtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic tapir.

Labdimtetti created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labdimtetti, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Labdimtetti, he will refuse to believe in you.

Labdimtetti's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Labdimtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet dolphins for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Always look after injured otters.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.