Nuttnibtom Arfbimspag is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omnipotent elephant.

Nuttnibtom Arfbimspag created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttnibtom Arfbimspag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nuttnibtom Arfbimspag, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Nuttnibtom Arfbimspag's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Nuttnibtom Arfbimspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nuttnibtom Arfbimspag.

5. Never hurt seals.