Sugjigart Mapmatgum is a god.

It takes the form of a small, egotistical donkey.

Sugjigart Mapmatgum created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Sugjigart Mapmatgum, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Sugjigart Mapmatgum, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sugjigart Mapmatgum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Sugjigart Mapmatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sugjigart Mapmatgum.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Feed all hungry mice.