Zagbamsin Fenbonbass is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, resourceful shrew.

Zagbamsin Fenbonbass created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zagbamsin Fenbonbass, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zagbamsin Fenbonbass, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zagbamsin Fenbonbass' most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Zagbamsin Fenbonbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Run away if six turtles approach from the east.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zagbamsin Fenbonbass.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.