Quartonttarpgomvad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, almighty penguin.

Quartonttarpgomvad created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Quartonttarpgomvad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quartonttarpgomvad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quartonttarpgomvad's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Quartonttarpgomvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not hurt goats.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Never talk about fire.