Bemcidyog is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, cheerful jaguar.

Bemcidyog created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemcidyog, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bemcidyog, it will turn you into a hamster.

Bemcidyog's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bemcidyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Bemcidyog must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Respect your elders.