Sawgupmat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, happy wyvern.

Sawgupmat created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawgupmat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sawgupmat, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sawgupmat's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Sawgupmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing yellow jumpers and balancing three silver spheres on your arms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.