Japrenzen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, flying cow.

Japrenzen created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japrenzen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Japrenzen, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Japrenzen's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Japrenzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head red.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always obey Japrenzen's priests.

5. Always take life seriously.