Lapkamsand is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, strong jaguar.

Lapkamsand created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapkamsand, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lapkamsand, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lapkamsand's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Lapkamsand's Holy Commandments

1. Lapkamsand loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Turtles are not to be trusted.

4. Lapkamsand loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Lapkamsand in the centre of the settlement.