Fligjopyar Mitlabshav is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, temperamental guinea pig.

Fligjopyar Mitlabshav created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligjopyar Mitlabshav, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fligjopyar Mitlabshav, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Fligjopyar Mitlabshav's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fligjopyar Mitlabshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Fast once a month.