Ruttstan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing narwhal.

Ruttstan created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttstan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ruttstan, he will send you a sign.

Ruttstan's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Ruttstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never skip near turtles.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near geese while wearing gray hats and balancing five titanium spheres on your legs.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.