Fedpopflisfidbasttadbem Gepdab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, awesome guinea pig.

Fedpopflisfidbasttadbem Gepdab created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedpopflisfidbasttadbem Gepdab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fedpopflisfidbasttadbem Gepdab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fedpopflisfidbasttadbem Gepdab's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Fedpopflisfidbasttadbem Gepdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near eagles while wearing yellow rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your chest.

3. You must love Fedpopflisfidbasttadbem Gepdab.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.