Flannellwab is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tranquil snake.

Flannellwab created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flannellwab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flannellwab, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Flannellwab's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flannellwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Do not shave your arms.