Appjiphas is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable yak.

Appjiphas created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appjiphas, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Appjiphas, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Appjiphas' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Appjiphas' Holy Commandments

1. Appjiphas loves otters, so they must be honoured.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Never look at galaxies.