Jadcemteenvig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, boastful mole.

Jadcemteenvig created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadcemteenvig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jadcemteenvig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jadcemteenvig's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Jadcemteenvig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat gooseberries.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Jadcemteenvig's name in vain.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near ducks while wearing indigo shorts.