Bonkcisstal is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unthinking narwhal.

Bonkcisstal created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkcisstal, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bonkcisstal, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bonkcisstal's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bonkcisstal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing fawn shorts and balancing three silver spheres on your hands.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonkcisstal.