Jonyarljip is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, stupid zebra.

Jonyarljip created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonyarljip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jonyarljip, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jonyarljip's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jonyarljip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.