Gemjongep is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, benevolent mongoose.

Gemjongep created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemjongep, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gemjongep, he will laugh at you.

Gemjongep's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gemjongep's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to bats while wearing yellow trousers.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Run away from purple sharks, for they are unholy.