Vagstipdod is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, tiresome beaver.

Vagstipdod created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vagstipdod, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vagstipdod, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vagstipdod's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vagstipdod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not keep nine capybaras in a large pit.

4. Never sprint near bats.

5. Never feed lots of apples to turtles while wearing orange scarves.